It’s 0355 and I’ve been awake since midnight. Hot damn, I’m supposed to work a late shift today.
1st of March!
It was so good to see my family when I got home. It was a bit emotional too. We just had dinner at my place, then I crashed really, after talking to Matt on the phone.
Yesterday I did a mountain of washing and unpacked. I feel very displaced. And cold. Everyone tells my it’s been so hot lately but it has to be 17 degrees my first day back!!
I think I’d better take a couple of Panadol and try to sleep.
3.3.16 – I’ve had a couple of shifts back at work and it’s been really good to see everyone. So many sweet welcomes (except my boss who barely welcomed me before demanding to know if I was an MRSA risk. Really! I wouldn’t be there if I was. Jeez). It doesn’t feel real, being back. A definite cultural shock. I’ve been asked many times about my swim. Mostly it’s fine but once or twice it’s hit home and I’ve found myself fighting tears again. The great thing about nurses is, when they see you trying not to cry, they know you need distraction and change the subject!
5th March – I had an interesting realisation yesterday. I work with a guy who is a curious mixture of stone and clay. I know he’s got a big heart and is generous with his time and expertise, a real family man too. He also is a tough guy act, not suffering fools gladly and unafraid to haul you over the coals if he thinks you’re out of line. We were getting a lady ready for her anaesthetic and he told her about my event (I really can’t find a good word for it!). I sort of protested, thinking she had enough on her mind, but it seems he is actually quite proud of me.
Now, to me, I just had no choice. It was literally sink or swim. I never seriously felt we didn’t have a chance to make it out alive. I was only worried Ali might not. Chaps and I, I reckoned, could do it. Of course, I had moments where I thought “oh shit!” and “give us a fucking break, Poseidon” but mostly I was OK.
I know it was an extraordinary event but I don’t feel extraordinary and to find people genuinely seem to admire the fact we survived is to me extraordinary!!!! Eeek, does that make sense? It’s actually quite difficult to describe my feelings about it. There’s a level of numbness in me. We had no choice but to keep swimming. If we had got Ali home too, maybe I could feel more joyous, more excited. As it is, it’s more of a “thank God that’s over” feeling.
I have my cat, Whisky, back. I’ve missed my meow. He’s an especially cool meow. He’s being very demanding right now, wanting my attention 24/7. I even woke in the night to find him asleep on the pillow by my head, something he knows he’s not supposed to do!!
When I went to pick him up from Danny’s flat, one of the boys tried to hide him, lol!! Seems he’s made conquests of them all and they wanted to keep him. I promised he could visit for Easter weekend. Danny suggested shared childcare, week about, haha.
So, I’m home, back to reality and I’m not sure I’m ready for it!! Time will take care of that, no doubt.