Boxing Day 1200
We had a plan change early this morning, after an intensely frustrating night of little or no wind. Again. Before we left Bahia del Sol we’d thought to take the coastal route via Acapulco to La Paz. Then Bernie felt it was better to skirt the strong winds created by the Tehuantepec and go offshore heading directly to Puerto Valletta. (btw, my nursing friends, this place is affectionately known as PV! Hahaha. I snort every time Bernie says it and now he understands the joke, he all but rolls his eyes)
However after losing so many days to no winds both before and after the Tehuantepec, and being low on food supplies, we’ve started the engine and are going directly to Acapulco. Poor Bernie! He sees this as a sailor failure! He uses the rags 99% of the time and loathes having to get the diesel out! Still, what can you do with no wind to fill said sails! Of course, yours truly has a healthy respect for all forms of power, and consequently am suffering zero pangs over getting that baby diesel going! So I’m happily on watch and have sent mon capitaine off to catch up on zeds.
Emotionally I’m really struggling. I feel like I’ve been chopped into a million pieces and each bit is on life support, can feel the pain of the torture but can’t find a way to put it’s parts back together. Alive but not functioning. Recognisable but not responsive. Breathing but brain dead. The ocean around me looks like the emptiness of my life stretching endlessly before me, navigable but featureless. Without a destination.
I daresay some of you will think “but you still have Matt” and thank god for that, but I’d bet you anything you like he’s feeling the same only 10 times worse. He has 50 or 60 years without his beloved brother. I face a mere 25 or so. And the three of us have grown up together, a tight trio, fighting our battles together, always having each others backs, knowing we could rely on one another 100%. It’s just so bloody hard. And yes, I miss Matt terribly right now. I wish he could join me on Momo for a bit! I’d like just the two of us to do something together in the near future.
1840. Back on sails for a bit as we have enough wind and Bernie wants to check the oil etc. The wind has backed a bit so its on our port beam. Lovely sunset as usual! We’ve just been sitting on deck yarning. As usual!
27.12.19 @ 0600. The sailing didn’t last long as the wind died again, but it w nice to have an hour or two of quiet, sitting on deck talking with Bernie. I did watch from 2100 to 0200 and am back on now. We don’t do changes in any formal way. Just get the other person when we get tired. So some nights I do more and some Bernie does. It works for us.
1700. I’ve just had my “shower” on deck. Much needed as it’s been sweltering hot today. Bernie has been doing sail repairs and I’ve done odd jobs and read my book. About once an hour poor Bernie laments the engine! I’m used to it. But there’s still no wind so a good decision and we should get to Acapulco tomorrow.
1950. Bernie and I were sitting in the shade of the sail having our dinner around 6pm,when Bernie commented “I can’t believe we haven’t caught a single fish.” Literally seconds after he uttered the words the fishing line took off! We looked at each other in disbelief and shot aft! There was a beauty marlin on the line! I wound it in and Bernie gaffed and landed it. Food! Just the day after we’ve run out of fresh food. Thank you Mr Marlin!
29.12.19. I’m ashore in Acapulco, my mission to find a laundrette, an Atm and sim cards, but I’m doing a bit of internetting with coffee in a local cafe overlooking the bay first! The waiter speaks English so I’ll pick his brains before I go.
I’m sure some of you will lament our catch of the marlin. We do too somewhat, but as we’d run out of food except rice and tinned tomatoes, we appreciate nature’s bounty and every bit will be used. Bernie is smoking and canning as I do this.
I talked to Matt last night briefly which was marvelous. And I’ll ring Mum and Dad later, at a sensible time in NZ!
Happy New Year, everyone.
Don’t forget to love each other. Love past the stars xxxxx